God Creates Man, Makes Mistake- Creates Woman

BREAKING NEWS

November 18, 2009

Elena Alexandrov

Earth — After 2000 years of public silence, Jesus Christ, 2009, arrived to earth this morning in order to give a press conference.

Jesus, who was accompanied by his entourage, Mohammed, Buddha, Ganesha, Elena G. White and Joseph Smith, said that "he was happy to be back" and "is here to give a message from his father".

"First, and foremost, creating man was a mistake... just look at one" said an enthusiastic Christ while smiling towards the cameras - "We therefore chose to create woman - who is the perfect being".

When questioned about the creation of man, Christ replied that "Man was simply a prototype. Sadly we could not recover the original blueprints of woman since they were stolen by Lucifer, who now uses them to lure people to hell with pornography, whores and whatever a woman could do to incite and manipulate man - it's the perfect weapon".


Is lesbianism ok?

Since the press conference, ultra feminist and lesbian advocate Rosie Fritz, 25, commented that this may be the indirect way of God agreeing to woman on woman action, however, her dreams were soon crushed when a heaven spokesperson replied "We do not comment on rumor or speculation - that's what religion is for".