Friend cockblocks other "Friend" - Says he is Best friend

November 17, 2009

Adam Weizmann

Austin, Texas — Resident Joe Baker, 23, is tired of his so called friend who apparently tries to sabotage his potential relationship. Baker, who has been seeing Tatiana Pomelli, mentioned earlier today that he "is tired of this shit" and "wishes that this stupid fuck would get a life, a girlfriend and/or a boyfriend" after the third party sabotaged his date for the 34th time this year, by either "coming along uninvited, text messaging, calling or sounding depressed(read: being emo)". On the other hand, Marvin Bing, 20, defends his position. "I'm both of their friends - I have a right to be here. If they want to have time alone, all they have to do is tell me, and I'll leave them alone" Later adding "I'll just barge in at the most inappropriate of time".

Jealousy or Protective Friend?

Bing, who was previously in love with Pomelli, argues that he is just being protective of her and it is necessary to be around [her] all the time, even while Baker is not around. "I'm just taking care of her, that's all" Said Bing, who later whispered "I need to make sure that no one takes her from my friend: Joe".

However, Bing's statement might not be all that true. Susan McNamara, a relationship specialist, believes that Bing is clearly obsessed with Pomelli which is shown by his childish attitude and immature behavior while trying to look like the alfa-dog.

"Trying to get all her attention by talking too much? Check. Trying to undermine Baker? Check. Trying to be with Pomelli 24/7 now that there's someone else in the picture? Check. What we've got here is a typical case of assholerism/cockblockism and sadly the only way to cure his fixation is for him to grow a pair" ranted McNamara.

Unfortunately, at Press Time, Bing hasn't grown anything.

Stay tuned for updates.